Being Single Doesn’t Mean You Have Nothing to Strive For
Take a moment to appreciate what you have
Written by Jake Levyns
courtesy of instagram: @rahelbrhane_
Generally speaking, society holds an unnecessary emphasis on certain aspects of life that are somehow most valuable to attain. For some, those things considered aspirational are reminders of what we don’t have and uphold a false appearance of happiness to others if we have them. All this is to say nothing about what would actually fulfill us instead of what people wish would. In such isolating times as these, it’s never been more important that we not only keep tabs on where we derive joy but push against the impulse to be good for someone else before ourselves.
This came to my attention recently when a friend of mine responded to a Co-Star reading I posted on Instagram that said You don’t know what you want. I can’t confirm nor deny the factuality of this, but it still made me reconsider the pressures I’ve put on myself this past year-and-a-half to make others believe I have it together when the reality was much different. In these insecure moments, I’m even more convinced my friends know me better than I do, and while it obviously makes me grateful for the people (or person) that stick(s) around, I end up feeling selfish for wanting more than affirmations.
This brings me back to my initial point, how we can’t truly know what we want without first realizing what we already have. Of course, there are good reasons for anyone to feel down about not having an outlet to look inward without seeing the worst, but it’s that which makes reinforcement from others much more validating. In this sense, though, you should remember the friends you have can’t solely be relied on to steer you in a different spiritual and emotional direction.
Which is where you come in. No matter what you see from people that tells you otherwise, there is no one in the world who knows what you need more than you. If you’ve ever been under the illusion that something isn’t in your cards, it’s in your best interest to make yourself believe the contrary. Even with the suspicion that I won’t be able to get most of the things I had pre-pandemic back, I feel lucky to have kept contact with at least one friend over the past five years that helps keep me on track. I hope one day I’ll be able to extend myself such a courtesy without so much hesitation.
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